


To be a God

by Lasoona



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst With A Bittersweet Ending, Caspar Marianne and Raphael have like 1 line each but they're there, F/F, R u ready for real sad boi hours, Spoilers for Golden Deer ending, The Salad family are the real mvps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 06:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20903531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasoona/pseuds/Lasoona
Summary: It's been centuries since the end of the war. Byleth's fusion with Sothis brought about an unforseen side effect. In all those years, she hasn't changed a bit. One by one, she's forced to watch her friends grow old without her, and before long she's left alone in a modern world. To become a God is a lonely thing.





	To be a God

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, here u go, some depression I wrote instead of the next chapter of The Crimson Rose lmao Maybe a bit cheesy/cliche at parts, but I'm here for the depresso, not to be original aghdsklghadklsj
> 
> Edit: Added some small things now that I've gotten some sleep and could think of ways to make it a bit sadder, Ur welcome :)

It had been generations since the end of the war. Things had changed drastically after the years Claude spent with Hanneman and Linhardt attempting to unlock the secrets of the Agarthan language, and thus their technology, had finally borne fruit. The landscape forever changed as cities grew larger than Fodlan had ever seen, new advancements in construction allowing buildings to seemingly to stretch to the clouds themselves. Magic was no longer a crutch humanity relied on to get the job done. Now used to help power these new machines developed using ancient secrets. In a few decades they had discovered ways to create transportation without the need for horses, metalworkers were able to make steel hardier than ever, and new metals beyond the capabilities of even that. Metal birds now took to the air, carrying humans into the sky, and more recently, beyond even that. The only thing that never seemed to change… was Byleth.

She knew fusing with Sothis had changed her, but it wasn’t until her friends began growing old and gray while she remained just as young as she had been all those years ago that she finally realized just how much. Seteth had taken her aside to talk about the lifespans of dragons once he had realized what was happening. Rhea hadn’t lasted long after the war, Macuil and Indech had all but disappeared as human technology advanced. They were the only ones left. The only ones that remembered what the great Lord Riegan, former Duke of Leicester and King of Almyra, was really like. The clever jokester, the caring friend, not just the legendary tactician and reformer that appeared in the history books like some long forgotten dream. The only ones that remembered the whole story behind the tragedy that was the end of the Blaiddyd line. The truth behind why Edelgard did what she did, not the ruthless conqueror the books remember her as. It hurt in a way Byleth had never thought she could hurt. And some days made her oh so angry. That her friends as they were had been forgotten. That she could do nothing but stand by as it happened. She had done what she could to correct some misconceptions, but it was never enough. There were days she would wake up hoping it had all been a dream. The light filtering through her window and the sound of cars speeding by seeming to pull open the emptiness inside her ever wider. In the end, the Agarthan’s were forgotten, the new advancements attributed to the freedom to research and create provided by peacetime. She had spent her years as Archbishop pulling the church out of it’s more politically aggressive ways. Helped set up new governments for Adrestia and Faerghus. Until she decided her work was finished and the legendary Archbishop Eisner disappeared from the annals of history. Debates still raged centuries later about what happened to her, as of course her body had ever been found. It was easy enough to cover any tracks she made with the power of the Progenitor God at her fingertips. She did try to help humanity out on the occasions that things were getting rather out of hand, though she had only really been needed once so far which she considered a miracle in and of itself with how humanity usually was. Though she always attempted to remain in the role of an advisor instead of becoming the main focus of the public eye again. That kind of thing just wasn’t for her, and she’d be disappearing again soon enough. It was… lonely. Though at least she had…

“Hello there, Flayn,” Byleth chuckled quietly as the excitable girl threw herself into Byleth’s arms. The centuries hadn’t dulled her energy and passion for new experiences one bit. She was the only one who seemed to have changed, albeit only a little. Flayn now having the appearance of mid adolescence instead of a twelve year old.

“Byleth! Oh, it’s been much too long since we’ve seen each other! I am ever so happy you finally accepted our invitation,” Flayn nuzzled into Byleth’s neck as she squeezed her old friend tighter. 

The last remaining Children of the Goddess had been trying to convince Byleth to live with them for the better part of the last two centuries. Byleth smiled to herself, they certainly were persistent. She had to admit she may have isolated herself a bit longer than really necessary. Those days where she could hardly force herself out of bed as the weight of yet another century bore down on her shoulders forced her to admit, perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad with her old friends.

“You are looking well, old friend.”

Byleth smiled as Seteth appeared in the doorway of the house, the former bishop looking no worse for wear besides the deepened lines etched on his face, “Ah, Byleth. I was wondering what all the commotion was. Welcome, my friend,” Byleth allowed Flayn to pull her into a group hug with Seteth, simply enjoying the warmth of human contact. Well, not really human, but that didn’t matter much at the moment. She would be glad to call this place home.

* * *

Flayn jumped up and down in excitement, “Now that you’ve rested a few days, shall we go do something together? There is an amazing new theme park that opened recently. It’s not far!”

Byleth grinned, Flayn was as adorable as ever, “Sure, why not?” she ruffled the girls hair as she walked past to get her shoes, chuckling to herself at Flayn’s “Hey!” knowing the girl was undoubtedly pouting at her. 

It would seem they had planned to drag her out anyways. Byleth stepped outside to see Seteth already in the car, waiting for them. Byleth shook her head, these two were incorrigible. But she had a feeling today would be fun regardless. She had yet to be to one of these theme parks and this new one was apparently based on multiple popular movies by Arnault Productions. Byleth couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, theater must’ve been in Dorothea’s genes, each new generation of Arnault’s made greater strides in the industry than the last. Her small smile turned bittersweet at the memories her wife's name drew forth. While time had dulled the pain of her passing somewhat, it had never quite truly healed the void Dorothea left in her life.

The park was bustling with visitors, the crowds packed tightly as everyone jostled to get through the gates next. 

“It seems to be rather popular,” Byleth observed.

“Yes, it has done amazingly well despite only having been open a few months,” Seteth agreed, "I’m sure it helps that it is located just outside Enbarr.”

Byleth turned to the man, eyebrow raised, “You do remember that crowds are one of my biggest dislikes besides black licorice, right?”

Flayn immediately latched onto her arm, “Do not worry, Professor! It is large enough inside that the crowds will not be a problem!”

Byleth barked a short laugh, “Flayn, I haven’t been a Professor since the academy.”

“Which is a travesty!” Flayn pouted, “You were a great Professor and you’re letting all that talent go to waste!”

Byleth simply shook her head and smiled, allowing them to lapse into silence. Once they had finally obtained tickets and gotten inside, Byleth couldn’t help but marvel at the world behind the walls. The amazing constructions of metal twisting through the air, carriages hurtling their passengers along at incredible speed at they screamed in delight, through the buildings she could see a large lake with a recreation of a famous Almyran sail ship floating along. Actors dressed as characters from the films mingled with visitors along the walkways. It was all a bit overwhelming for someone who had spent much of her recent life isolating herself from people as much as she could.

“Alright, Byleth,” Flayn turned to her friend, beaming, “Where shall we start?”

* * *

If Byleth was honest, she would rather fight Nemesis and Thales again than go on another roller coaster or whatever they were called. At least Flayn had enjoyed it, though her ears were still ringing from Flayn’s delighted screams. She found herself quite enjoying the slower rides, ones where she could just sit back and take in her surroundings. It had been so long since she’d felt relaxed like this. Since she’d been… happy. Since she’d _ let _ herself be happy, more like. Flayn and Seteth seemed to just have that effect on people.

Byleth wasn’t sure when, but at some point Seteth had… clipped a leash onto Flayn’s belt, the plastic handle gripped tightly in his hand. Must’ve been after she nearly got kicked out for diving headfirst into a fish pool. Byleth chuckled, the years hadn’t gotten rid of Seteth’s protective streak, that was for sure, she was fairly certain he’d nearly had a heart attack. Now she was sitting on a bench next to a still damp Flayn while Seteth was off at a nearby cafe getting some food. It had been an eventful few hours, and Byleth had to admit she was having fun. 

A flash of white hair in the corner of her vision pulled her attention away. Byleth frowned, was that?...

Byleth spoke without taking her eyes off the gift shop the human had walked into, “Hey, Flayn, I’ll be right back. Please don’t go anywhere.”

Byleth rose and quickly walked away before the girl could answer. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t let this person go without getting a better look. Once inside, it didn’t take long to find them. Not many people had naturally white hair like that. There she stood, looking at props of old spellbooks. Byleth was all too familiar with their real life counterparts. And so was…

“Lysithea?”

The girl looked up, her brow furrowed in confusion, “I’m sorry?”

Byleth blinked, this was all wrong. The girl was barely half an inch shorter than her. And her eyes... Dark brown met her gaze instead of the pale pink she had expected, “I-I’m sorry, I thought you were… von Ordelia,” Byleth’s voice got quieter as she spoke, nearly mumbling out her last words.

The confused expression didn’t leave the stranger’s face, “I’m von Ordelia, yes, do I know you?”

“I-” Ah, a descendant. Byleth’s breath caught in her throat, a grimace pulling across her face. Her stomach felt like it dropped right back into the void from the Sealed Forest, emotion welling in her chest as a familiar ache seized her still unbeating heart, “No, I’m sorry,” Byleth spun and retreated back outside, her eyes stinging as she shuffled back towards the bench.

Seteth had returned, holding sandwiches in his hands, nearly dropping them as Flayn spotted Byleth and shot out of her seat. She gently took ahold of Byleth’s arm, guiding her to a seat, “Byleth? What happened?”

Byleth huffed, a humorless laugh escaping her lips, “Is it that obvious?”

“Byleth… you’re crying…”

Byleth reached up and dabbed at her cheeks with her fingertips, her confusion evident when they came away wet. When had that started? 

She was vaguely aware of Seteth settling on her other side, his hand reaching up to massage her shoulder with his thumb. His voice was gentle as he spied the Ordelia girl leaving the gift shop, “It never seems to get easier, does it?”

“How do you deal with this?” Byleth choked out, “It’s been so long, and yet it still _ hurts _.”

Seteth’s gaze softened, “How about we return home for today? I’m sure getting away from this crowd may help some. Come, Professor.”

* * *

Byleth remained silent as the trio entered the house, her breaths had been coming in shuddering gasps the whole ride home, the woman obviously trying to hold back sobs. The dragons guided her to the couch where they once again took positions on either side of her, both holding her shoulders gently, Flayn entwining the fingers of their free hands.

“You know, Byleth,” Seteth began, his quiet voice sounding like thunder in the silence of the house, “I, too, struggle with this longevity of ours despite having many thousands of years to get used to it. But you know…” He smiled as Byleth slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze, “Despite the pain, there is still hope. It took me nigh on two thousand years to meet you, after all. And I must say it was worth the wait. You have been a great friend in both good and troubling times, and I would not trade our time at the academy for anything.”

“Father is right,” Flayn rubbed her hand along Byleth’s back, “I… have lost many friends over my millennia of life,” Her smile faltered. Flayn closed her eyes and laughed quietly, her smile soon coming back full force, “But I always meet new people, make more amazing friends. And I never have to forget those I have lost, they are not replaced, I know they would not want me to hold myself back from experiencing what I have been given in the here and now.”

Byleth wiped at her eyes with her palms, “Thank you. Both of you,” She drew a shuddering breath, “I suppose I pushed these feelings down for too long and they finally decided to boil over.”

Seteth nodded, “It’s perfectly understandable. If I remember what you told me correctly, you had to become used to feeling such emotions strongly in the first place.”

Byleth fidgeted with a strand of her mint colored hair, before pulling it to eye level, eyes locked on that color that still seemed so strange to her, “It’s not just that, I… sometimes I can-” Byleth screwed her eyes shut. She had already explained all she had learned about what Rhea had done to her to the father-daughter duo, including shocking them with the information that Sothis had indeed been resurrected in a sense. But this was still… something beyond that.

Flayn frowned, “Byleth?”

Byleth silently cursed herself as she felt fresh paths of liquid stain her cheeks. She had always been good at hiding her emotions, why was she suddenly so helpless? “I still very much have the powers of the progenitor god- of _ Sothis _. Time has… different meaning for me. I don’t know how else to describe it. But there are also hints of… something more. I-” Byleth stilled. These two had already dealt with so much because of her. She wasn’t sure she should reveal anything else. Especially this, “I’m sorry, it’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

Seteth nodded, eyes searching her face for any hint of what he was missing, “Of course, we will let you rest. We will be here if you need anything.”

Byleth gave them a small smile, “Thank you both. You’re too kind.”

Seteth smiled softly as the duo helped their friend up, “Nonsense, it’s the least we can do for you. Now get some rest.”

* * *

Byleth lay on her back, tracing patterns into the ceiling with her eyes. Sleep eluded her as it always did at times like these. And when she did sleep… well, usually it wasn’t restful. Byleth snorted, some Goddess she was. As if on queue, her eyelids began growing heavy. As she drifted off, her mind went once again to the past.

_ Look how far we’ve come, Claude. I think you’d be proud. _

“Well you’re right about that, Teach.”

Byleth’s eyes snapped open. She found herself standing in the middle of a thick fog, vague humanoid silhouettes moving somewhere beyond her vision. Seeking the familiar voice, Byleth turned. A choked gasp tore from her lips as her searching gaze met familiar emerald orbs, “Claude?”

He looked just like he did all those years ago, when she had woken up and found him waiting in the Goddess tower, the same easy smile on his face as he stepped forwards, “It’s been a while, huh? You haven’t changed a bit,” He was forced to steady himself as a green blur slammed into his chest, Byleth’s sobs muffled by the thick cloth, “Woah! Hey, hey, easy there. Don’t use up all your tears on me, I’m not the only one who managed a visit.”

Byleth’s tear streaked face peeked out from the archer’s chest, “Wha-”

“Come now, Byleth, I come all this way and you tackle Claude first? I’m hurt.”

Byleth felt her chest tighten, her emotions threatening to overflow as she spun once more, “D-Dorothea?”

There before her was the songstress herself, just as beautiful as the day they’d been married, a soft smile upon her features, “I’m not sure how this is happening, but hello, My Love,” There was a blur of movement and then Dorothea was on the floor, a laugh on her lips as a familiar pair of muscled arms wrapped around her. She gently pushed the both of them back up into a more comfortable sitting position, her hands gliding through mint locks. She began blinking rapidly, attempting to keep her own tears at bay as Byleth sobbed against her collar “Ssshhh, sh sh shh, hey now, I’ve got you.”

Byleth gripped her wife’s dress like her life depended on it, afraid that if she opened her eyes without a solid grip she would find herself back in her room once more, “I- I'm sorry, I’ve missed you so much."

Dorothea chuckled, "Oh Byleth, only you would apologize at a time like this. Let it out, I won't let you go."

Byleth finally aquiesced, her body shaking as she dampened Dorothea's shoulder with her tears. She drew a shaky breath as she felt another hand gently rub along her shoulder and she realized she'd neglected Claude.

“You know teach, I dunno how you did it but this is pretty sweet. Though I think I might have an idea.”

Byleth looked up at the man as he gestured outwards, from his heart towards Byleth. The woman’s eyes widened as she spotted the telltale glow of magic. A ghostly cord connecting her heart to the two long gone humans.

Claude shrugged, “I guess I was wrong to dismiss those jokes you always made about being the Goddess.”

Byleth stood, her hands never leaving Dorothea as her wife followed her up, the former Archbishop clinging to her like a lifeboat, “I’m not… the Goddess. I can just use her powers is all.”

“And extremely well, apparently, my teacher. Seeing as how you managed this.”

Byleth looked beyond Claude to find a sight she had never imagined in her wildest dreams. Behind him stood every single one of her students. Black Eagles, Blue Lions, and Golden Deer alike. Even her.

“Edelgard?”

The Emperor smiled, “Yes, I’m surprised to see myself here, too. Wherever this is.”

Dorothea gently guided the professor forward, her students eagerly gathering around and giving her greetings. A smoky cord of light extending from Byleth to all those around her. Byleth felt like a dam had broken once more, the woman covering her mouth in an attempt to mask her sobs as tears streamed down her face. Whatever was going on, it was overwhelming. The three rulers and her wife all stepped forward and clasped her shoulders, Dimitri and Claude on one and Edelgard joining Dorothea on the other, the others gathering around in a tight circle.

Dimitri smiled, “It would seem your heart desired one last goodbye. As one with the powers of the Goddess I cannot think of anyone in a better position to do so.”

Byleth choked out a laugh between her tears, “I know I can’t hold on to the past forever but I miss you all so much. I can’t- I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Well,” Caspar shrugged, “For one thing you gotta stop acting like you’re all alone in the world. You still have Seteth and Flayn, right?”

Petra nodded, “You must let go but not forget. Only then can you truly begin to heal.”

“And know that we’ll always remember you as well, Professor,” Marianne added softly.

Raphael belted out his usual boisterous laugh, “And who knows! If something like this can happen, I’m sure we’ll see each other again eventually!”

Byleth watched with a smile on her face as her students nodded to her.

Dorothea giggled, “I’ve missed that smile. The day I finally got a full toothed smile from you was one of the happiest days of my life, you know.”

Claude rolled his eyes playfully, “I see being dead hasn’t made you any less cheesy.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Ingrid cut in, smiling softly at her old friend.

Edelgard shook the Professor’s shoulder softly, “Professor I-" The Emperor averted her gaze, "I thank you. That you have given me this chance. To properly say goodbye. But one day we _ will _meet again, my teacher. And when it’s your time, you can count on us to be here to take your hand.”

The group closed in, all hugging Byleth as best as they were able, each speaking their own thank you as they began fading back into the fog.

“Well teach, I guess this is it,” Claude held up his hand, which was rapidly evaporating. He pulled Byleth into one last hug, her eyes screwing tight, “Thank you for everything, my friend.”

Byleth slumped as Claude’s weight against her disappeared. Now only Dorothea remained.

“I would say don’t make me wait too long, but that’s kinda like telling you to die, huh?”

Byleth chuckled softly, “I understand,” She pulled the songstress into her arms, sealing her lips against her wife’s. Slowly pulling apart Byleth whispered, “I love you, Dorothea.”

The songstress smilled, “And I you, Byleth. I can say without hesitation that you gave me a happy life. Thank you,” Dorothea extracted herself from Byleth’s arms, sliding a hand down her arm to bring her wife’s hand to her lips as the fog finally enveloped them both.

Byleth gasped, bolting upright. A quick glance around told her she was back in her room. Her outstretched hand shook, the warm sensation of a kiss lingering on the back of her hand and one last request ringing in her ears.

_ Live for me _.


End file.
